When I decided to study abroad, a part of my family wouldn’t let me come. They said it was too expensive to be afforded, and that they would miss me a lot if I went abroad.  Despite of my family’s thoughts, my mother told me that if that was what I actually wanted, that I should do so. That it wouldn’t matter if she hadn’t had enough money at the time, because she’d find it. And it wouldn’t also matter that she’d had miss me, because me studying abroad was my dream, my happiness. And she’d do anything to see me happy.

Standing in the pouring rain just holding on to each other while there is a thunderstorm. Although it is a dangerous situation you are not afraid and just feel safe and secure.

I experienced the deep love of my parents when I once felt like I really disappointed them, because I did not act the way they had always taught me. However, instead of being angry with me they just told me how much they loved me and consequently gave me what I really needed in that moment.

Shortly before she died, my grandmother told me under tears that she would always love me.

It is very difficult to choose only one experience or memory, for I think love is to be found every day. However, if I had to choose one, it would be a charity work my friends and I did around Christmas time. Christmas is about sharing. Therefore, we decided to gather some toys for less privileged children and organized a little party for them. During the party the children had a marvelous time.  They really enjoyed the gathering and the presents they become, but most of all I think they enjoyed our attention, for they needed love and attention more than material things. In order to thank us, they gave us a hug. At that moment, I felt beloved and good with myself. I felt their love, and I think the children’s love is pure and sincere.  

A week ago, I got a postcard for my birthday from my friends in Turkey. When I saw the envelope, I got really excited; it was a big surprise for me and I feel that they love me. They made an effort to find my address without asking me because they wanted to make a surprise to me and to make me happy because they love me. As I stated in the definition of love, they made an effort to show their fellowship and to make me happy. This is really simple case but now I’m away from my homeland and that kind of cases are more important now for me. 

When my parents were divorced, they decided that it is better for my brother and me to stay with my father. I think this was a very hard decision for my mother. She agreed that it is better for us to stay in my fathers house and with our known surrounding. This was real love from my mother to my brother and me.

I have been thinking quite long about this question and I still cannot come to an sufficient conclusion.

Obviously is love an emotion. But at the same time it is so much more. Personally
I feel like it is something really warm, a thing that can be so fragile at some times and then again so strong that it could fight anything bad in this world. It appears it different shapes. For example it can be found as little animals that slip into your body and tickle you until you have to laugh all day, smiling, singing on your bicycle ride at home, dancing instead of walking. It can appear like a warm pullover that keeps you safe from the cold winter. Then again it could be a suit of amour that makes you feel invulnerable and strong. It can be experienced as something natural and good or as an matter that threatens ones existence and leads into insanity.  Love seems to be all around and the media and the advertising industry make so much use of it that you could sometimes think it is just a concept to sell perfume easier. But the first time you really experience it you know it is just a lame copy of real love that they are playing with. Love is the beginning and the end, the mother of this world and the absence of it leaves nothing but absurdness.

I love to be with my whole family on Christmas. We always sing, eat and talk a lot and for me, it is very important to be at home on these three days. Last Christmas my boy friend broke up with me and I recognized how important my family is. They gave me so much love and supported me – I won’t forget these days when I was so sad.

I want to list two experiences (of good-bye), which are related to two different persons – my sister and my ex-boyfriend. The first one regards the situation when I had to say good-bye to my little sister because I was going to Australia for six months. My sister and I were very close - always. But we rarely ever told each other how much we meant to the other. And then there was this moment of good-bye and we knew that we would not see each other for the longest period in our lives (so far). But there was no time to say a lot apart from good wishes. So we just said: “I love you”. That was it, but it was enough at this moment.

The second memory regards the day I left Australia for good (I had come back before to spend another six weeks with a guy I had met, fallen in love with and finally lived with for 3 months). We never really talked about what we felt for each other because we both thought that it would not going to be easier if we talked about love, life and future. Instead we enjoyed what we had. But the day, I had to leave, came – of course. And I got on that plane back to Germany without telling him once what he meant to me. So this is a memory about not finding the right words in the end, although not about failed love.

The probably most significant moment, when you feel that you love someone is the moment, you can’t by no means get together with that person. So it was for me, when I have just fallen in love with my boyfriend. When you are living in a little mountain cottage with not any public transport connection to wherever you would expect civilization, it is rather easy to become desperate, especially if all you can think about is that one person that is insurmountable miles away from you. This very hardest longing I have ever experienced in my whole life makes you to do absolutely everything to get together again regardless of your own liabilities, other peoples’ needs, feelings and expectations. It even brought myself to overcoming my pride and buttering the person that at that point was the most unpleasant being I could think about.

When my grandmother died in 1997, my grandfather became lonely and lost a lot of his mental capacity. He became very confused and we could literally feel that he has lost a part of him and that he was overcharged by most of the things that she used to take care of before. About one and a half year after my grandmother´s death, my grandfather died as well because he just couldn´t live without his beloved wife.

When I was like 10 or 11 we were visited by friends of our family who we don’t see that often, since they’re living in the city from which we moved away from. Nevertheless my parents know them since they went to school together and I’m basically friends with their daughter since we were born. The family stayed overnight, so they wouldn’t have to drive back late. When it was getting late though, my friend and I slipped into the living room where they were all sitting together and playing cards. We got onto the couch and just were quietly watching them. Soon we laid down and almost fell asleep. I still remember how good it felt to just lay there and listen to them talking to each other, teasing each other and laughing while being secure of their friendship and all the years that connected them up to this point. My friend was lying next to me on the couch and I was sure that we would one day be like our parents, owning shared memories, older and still friends.

    There was the bright light of the lamp and it was warm, just all in all really comfortable. When I closed my eyes the light was still there and I was getting all warm inside too. Hearing our parents talk made me feel secure and safe. There was the feeling that whatever scary thing was happening out there couldn’t reach me, because being in this room with these people, inside all this warmth and the light was all that mattered. I still remember that it felt like I could float around the room, if I wanted to. I felt carried even though no one was even looking at me. Staying quiet to not disturb what was going on I also tried to not fall asleep, because I didn’t want the feeling to end. Even though it was hard, I wanted to stay there with them and in the feeling of love that was almost touchable for me this evening.

My experience representing love to me was at a tennis match.
I was playing against another girl who was yelling all the time when she scored which made me angry. During a break and a change of sides my best friend came over to me and gave me support and hope that I could still win the match. After her words I even won the match because of her faith in me.

In a situation in which a loved one needs us urgently other necessities and duties lose their importance, they simply fade out, and you feel brilliantly clear that there is only one right thing to do at this very moment: being there for them. Or in a harmonious setting: if smooth interaction comes with ease, you feel close-to-perfect connectedness to the loved one. In both it makes feel to be at the right place in the right time, doing what you are meant to do and made to do.

I have a very strong relationship with my “little” sister. In some kind we do live a little bit in our own world when we are together. Maybe we have our own codes and we both know quite quickly what the other one wants to say or what he means.

    But our relationship has been and sometimes still seems to be a little bit ambivalent. Even though we need each other we find ourselves together in situations where we are angry and aggressive. What probably is really normal for brothers and sisters. But now that we are both grown-up we know how we can handle this.

List one experience that represents love to you.

Once I have been seriously ill and I have spent a very long time in hospital. Because of that I was exhausted and depressed. In that way I thought it could be easier to die. But my mother told me that my death would be the worst thing that could possible happen to her. She as a mother wanted to die before me. In that moment I could feel her love absolutely clear.

When I was 21 I spent 2 month with a friend of mine in Tanzania. I missed my girlfriend a lot. I was surprised about that fact. Sometimes it felt like I couldn´t really enjoy the journey because of that feeling.

I didn’t talk to her on the phone a single time during the trip and the first week there was no possibility to check mails or write a message to her. There was this one situation when we spent 2 days on a ferry cruising up the Lake Tanganika. There was not much to do on board and I spent most of the time with reading, talking to people or watching salesmen on small boats passing by selling goods to other people on board. Actually there was a lot going on and the days were just beautiful. I took my time to write some kind of a love letter. When I wrote this letter to my girlfriend (it was handwritten first but sent to her as an e-mail) I realized that the trip was even more special because I knew that I was in love

It is the 24th December right after “11 o’clock breakfast” I’m at my mom’s house. Everybody is here my mom and her boyfriend, my three older sisters, my second mom (who is my mom’s best friend) and her 4 kids. We are very busy getting our presents done. This year we decided to actually make our presents because my oldest sister thought it would be much more fun, be a lot more creative and a lot cheaper. Well since we are that many we decided to do Secret Santa and each person has to present two of us.

Mom always cheats! She buys something and then she makes a little tiny accessory for it. Also she never does anything helpful that day. She goes riding her horses at two o’clock even she knows church starts at four or sometimes she is taking a bath at four. My oldest sister is nearly doing everything. She helps with the cooking, the baking, the baby sitting and only because she is probably the only one who has already got her presents finished.

    The other two sisters of mine are probably still working on theirs. Probably part time because also do some decorating in the living room and the kitchen. But one of them should be decorating the Christmas tree, which I was supposed to place in the living room in front of one door connecting it to the hall. Once I got that done, trying to place it just straight (which really takes a while, the old Christmas tree-holder with all the screws and mud - I “love” it) this door is looked and it always takes a while until everybody has realized it. The little ones were not supposed to be in here anyway.

    I put up a table which is build of a massive wooden board and held on a couple stack build of bricks on the floor. I do this also part time because I only just yesterday developed my idea for a present for my sister. But it is so complicated that there is no way of getting it done till tonight.

    My mom’s boyfriend mysteriously disappears always coming back when most of the things are done. No I’m lying! He goes and does the last Christmas groceries shopping. Sometimes with my mom! But if she goes with him they usually leaves a couple of hundred at the shop. But then it‘s probably the best food we have all year.

My second mom, my cool mom is helping everywhere. She helps with the cooking, baking, cleaning (at least the very dirty rooms should be clean), helps making the everyone make their presents (she is probably the only one who knows what each and everybody is getting, otherwise it is a very secret and mystical business), and entertains her kids. But actually she takes care of everybody: She listens to everybody’s problems, really cheers us up and makes fun of every problematic situation and everybody’s problematic situation (in very positive way, sarcasm but with a smile). She kind of holds that whole family together. I could go on and on with stuff like that: Things break, presents drown, church starts, cookies burn, where are the kids? and so on …

    But the important thing is … after we sat in church for too long, listened to some really boring preaching, sung a couple of songs at home (my mom playing the piano), waiting for Santa (Yes he exists and brings a rod, very exciting when he comes) … we all sit together on the pillows around the table next to the Christmas tree (candles lid up), enjoying the good food and the company. We may worry because those presents don’t look as we had it in mind but overall we are all very happy to be here and we talk, laugh, eat and hope we don’t have to go through all that again. But a couple of days later you look back and you can’t wait for next year!

The first image that pops up in my head when thinking about love is a moment three years ago right before went abroad to the US for five months. My Mum and I were sitting in my room staring at two huge suitcases and she then gave me a necklace with a little silver angel on it and said to me that angel would take care of me since she wouldn't be able to do it herself anymore. From then on whenever I felt the little angel around my neck I had to think of my Mum and even in this very second it reminds me that she will always be there for me.

Regarding a memory:

    I felt love when I was walking along a country road in the middle of nowhere in South Africa, the sun was at the brink of setting down and I was feeling deeply alone.

    Suddenly, a farmer stopped and took me to his home, showed me his enormous ranch, fulfilled one of my desires (we went to a beach at the Indian Ocean and I went swimming in the waves (still at sunset)).

    But I felt real love when he didn’t let me tramp back to Cape Town in the night. He organized a bus ticket instead.   He left me with the words: “You could’ve been killed tonight.”.

If I think about love, I will immediately think of my parents, as they taught me what it means.  They represent love to me all the time, so it is hard to think of a specific experience representing love, because love is and was always present, it doesn’t disappear or comes up in certain situations. However an experience representing my parents’ love is that they would never abandon me nevertheless what I am doing, for example writing bad marks and I reckon even if I would steal something or hurt somebody, they would still love me.

I remember very well the good old school-days of Elementary School: me and my former schoolmates thought that love was only true in fairy tales, made for girls only! The girls drove me crazy with all their plays about love. And that’s what it was to me, nothing more than a play! Something which came from girls minds, something pink, something embarrassing! But it was always funny to play girls’ love-play, so as “spin the bottle” which were good for being kissed.

I think from the fifth grade on, girls started sending love-letters to boys. Every lucky guy who received one, including me, was happy. Sometimes I spent time with girls, who had sent love-letters to me. But it wasn’t love; for the boys it was only another important contest.    

The girls always wanted romance, cinema, to hold hands, to cuddle and snuggle, For the boys, including me, it was more a kind of status: “Look at me I have a “girlfriend””. And of course it helped to gain experience in kissing and girls at all. I think girls are really faster becoming adults, because they were able to feel something like love, earlier than boys. I felt nothing.

I thought love was made for someone else but not for me! But than at the age of 15 to 16, I met my “first big love”. I don’t know if it has something to do with the fact that we actually made love, that I really felt love. (and for me it was the first time) My very first relationship with a girl, felt like love and had a very strong influence on my later life: She was everything to me, I wanted to be around her every single minute. She drove me crazy when she was only talking to another boy. Falling in love with her turned my little world upside down. I would have done everything for her. To share more time with her I ignored friends and hobbies. I even skipped school lessons to see her. I think that exactly was the reason, why my parents didn’t want her to be my girlfriend. It wasn’t easy for my love and me, she was nearly three years older than me so at the age of 18 she was allowed to party all-night long. My parents are very strict so I wasn’t allowed to, so I ran into big troubles with my parents. I ignored every bit of good advise they had given to me. One morning I packed my things together and ran away from home for the first time.

Now 11years later, without having spoken to her the memories or even the feelings are still on my mind. It’s like she has left something inside my heart, something like a footstep. 

It is not like thinking about her everyday, but for me she has been something like a model of a girlfriend, for a very long time.