The School of Thinking and Feeling

The Class of Love



Sharing Love...

How do you personally

describe love?

What does love

mean to you?

Definitions of Love - what is...

And conversely, let’s turn it around. With so many ways to define love, would it be easier to simply ask

"What is not


and what is not...

Attraction, lust, pain, narcissism, egocentrism, selfishness

Wanting to be with a person only for material things or just in order to not be alone.

So easy that question sounds, I think it is pretty hard to answer that. Of course, everything that hurts a person, in a physical or psychological way, is not lovely. But everybody knows how easy a loved person can hurt you- every cloud has a silver lining.

Well, but I would say everything, that people do knowingly to harm another people, is the total opposite of love.

Not love is trying to love someone even if you’re not 100% convinced you do.

Not love is knowing a person just superficial.

Not love is forced love.

No real love is conditional.

I think love ends at the point when you want to hurt or kill a person, sure love causes hate. But in my opinion love still ends when you what to hurt or kill people or a person, as you love them anymore. In general you can say if you don’t care about someone or something you don’t love him, her or it.

Acting selfish.

Not being helpful when others are in need aka not showing civil courage f.e. on the street.

One feeling that comes to my mind and that often is misinterpreted as love is sexual attraction.

My first intention was to name hatred as an emotion that is not love. But I started thinking about it and came to the conclusion that you need to love to hate something or someone. Even war results out of love, for example a dictator causes war, because he loves the feeling of power. I even think that fear results out of love, like we need to love ourselves or others to have the drive to protect and we need to fear to be able to protect. Though I also think that fear is also a big factor and guides us as well. So what is not love?

I honestly have to say that I don’t know but that I’m curious to find out.

One-sided love is no real love, because it is only the illusion of love for one of the two persons. Not love is for example also sacrificial love, because two people who really love each other should be equal or at eye level.

I think love has always to do with a counterpart, with giving something, with making yourself vulnerable because of being honest, with passion and with appreciation. And if these aspects don‘t exist it can‘t be love.

Not love is for me when people stay together because of other reasons than their love for each other e.g. it‘s a confirmed habit, money, a house or even their own children.

Also, I would say indifference is not love,  to be exactly it‘s the opposite for me. If you love someone who does not respond your love, the worth he can feel for you is complete disinterest.

                -          materialism

-          sexuality

                ·         status symbol (Love should not be abused to reach an aim. à e.g. people start a relationship with someone – just to become more popular)

·  Prostitution (“Making love” which means having sex without feelings is not love.)

·    Staying together in a relationship even if it is clear that both do not have feelings for each other anymore. Often this happens because of the fear of being alone after a breakup or the fear of other people’s judgments.

Being cruel. For example, when someone cheats on the someone else.

Not love is for me war, selfishness, greed to money, greed to power, every sort of pain. All in all things in the world which makes it hard to live together peacefully.

     -   abusing someone (mentally, physically,...)

-  not trying to understand your partner/child/parents

Love is not, what we decide not to love or cannot love. Love is not materialistic.

Many people say that if love hurts it can’t be love. I don’t believe in that, because I think if something hurts it shows that have feelings for this person because you care for him/her. In my opinion not love is if you act disrespectful, bully someone on purpose or if you just don’t except a person the way she or he is, because if you want to change a person you can’t love her/him the way she/he is.

Addiction, because I think this is really a sickness, it is not love to love somebody you don’t really know. It is an illusion. Forced marriages are also no love. It is forced so it is not a love marriage. Prostitution is also no love. For those people it is their job, there are no feelings involved.



To frustrate so.

Doing something just expecting something back


I would say that it is not love anymore when someone is trying to own and control a person.

The love and the well-being of the one should be very important. But if only control of the other person and the own wishes and longings matter - it cannot be real love.

A person cannot be the property of somebody else as he or she should be able to do whatever he or she wants to do.

1.       Hate is not Love

War is not Love.

Murder is not Love.

Love only exist in ourselves. We can share it with someone else, but before we have to use a medium to transfer it to others. I would say love is an emotion, which is everyone able to have, but everything outside of our personality can only be used to influence this emotion and can never be love.

The dependence on another person. The addiction to a lifestyle.

    -          Trying to change the partner

    -          Demand things from a partner that he can´t give/do

    -          Being indifferent

        For me love is the strongest, most beautiful and dangerous feeling a man can feel. It can make one feels like he’s the happiest person of the entire world. But it also may make one feels like if the world’s ending if not corresponded or if one is disappointed.

Love means passion, danger, beauty, fullness. It’s when one misses that special person and tries to do, get and be the best for that someone.

Love is the urge of being with a person all the time and missing that person to death when he or she is not around. It is knowing that there is nothing in the world you would not do for your beloved. It is trust, joy, pain, and sacrifice. It is something you cannot control!

I personally think that love is a very strong feeling, maybe the strongest a human is able to feel. Love is a very strong connection between people. And it really has to grow up on a base of trust and respect to each other.

From my point of view it is very important, that we have to diversify love between friends and family, on the one hand and in a relationship, on the other hand. Well, in my opinion the feeling - love – is the same in both ways. Except of that people have sex in a love relationship. Consequently my definition of a good relationship is that you need a very good friend and a lover, in one person.

From the poetic point of view love means the biggest unknown in a human’s life, for me, because the fewest people got the ability to give a definition of love. But everybody is looking for love, without to know what it really is.

To sum it up, love is something confusing and ironic, on the one side and the most valuable good for everybody, on the other side.

Love to me is something everyone wants and needs. It’s also something I am afraid of because it really can hurt.

Love should be unconditional. It is the strongest feeling one can have, so it’s emotional, not rational.

Love to me is something I don’t really understand. It happens or it doesn’t. I do not believe that one can influence love.

It’s a feeling that makes you feel happy, feel confident, you realize that you can be yourself because you are still loved with all your tics and it depends you to somebody. Love makes you addicted because you want more of it and you know you have to work for it.  On the other side it makes you feel sad and frustrated and in the worst case even sick.

I understand "love" as the general love you show to everybody. To me it means to have a kind heart and help other people.

To be honest this is a very difficult question. I was actually hoping to be more certain about this question after the class, but now I will try to do my best.
I think it is important to differ between the love among family members and the love of another person.

On the one hand, the love of a family member is based on reproduction. Parents love their children because they are parts of themselves. They want to protect their children and make sure that they can survive. In that way they can make sure that their genes outlast.

Whereas children love their parents because they can rely on them, no matter what, their parents will protect and support them. In the early years children are fed by their parents, through their entire live they learn things from their parents and by that finally know how to survive on their own.

On the other hand the love of another person, that is  not a member of your family, is – in my opinion - based on the “love to be loved-theory“.

I think that all our actions and feelings are self-centred and self-protecting. Everything we do, we do because it has got some profit for us.

According to this theory we love someone else in order to be loved. We need acknowledgement, appreciation, attention and want to feel special, needed and understood.

Because someone else can give us all that, we pick that someone and try to make sure that he or she will give it to us for as long as we need it.

These two theories are the basement for the feeling that we call love. It is a great feeling, one of the strongest emotions we have. And even though I talk about love like it is some rational and predictable emotion, I strongly believe that love has thousand of different ways it can be experienced totally subjective feeling that everybody sentences in his or her own way.

For me personally love is something that I can not define. I don´t know whether I have ever been in love, this is why it is so hard for me to say what love is to me. It is definitely an emotion that I can´t wait to experience and that I think I have felt rudimentary.

All in all love seems to be an feeling that everyone is talking about, that seems to be one of the most important goals in everyone´s life and that has a strong impact on our behaviour, our actions and our emotional world.

Love to me is the strongest emotion a human being is capable to feel. Love is the source, you could even say the “mother” of every other feeling we experience in our life. Love guides us and determines what we do and what we say, if we hurt someone or make a person we love happy. This emotion is a chemical, biological reaction as well as something from deep inside us to me and I do love “Love” as much as I fear this feeling, as it causes pain, war, destruction (physical and mentally), as it kills and breaks us in little pieces. And still I am addicted to this feeling and I can’t even imagine living without it, because it’s everywhere and it’s probably the biggest part of my reality.

Love is for me to love someone like he really is. Love is to accept all her failures and flaws. Love is to look at someone and knowing that you want to spend all your time with this person.

Love is the most important feeling one can have but at the same time the most undefinable word I know. It is the base of human relationship and its power is bigger than anything else. Without love our life would not make sense and we need to appreciate the simple fact that we are able to love.

Love is the most powerful emotion. It makes our life worth living. I couldn't live without love, it is a feeling deep inside of me, just to know that there are people I love and who respond my love. Love makes me incredibly happy.


                -          commitment

-          compassion

-          affection

-          faith

-          intensity

-          cooperation

-          vulnerability

-          care

-          responsibility

-          connection

-          resolution

-          self-abandonment

-          unification of souls

·         Hope.

·         a process which changes permanently. (e.g.: There are two people in a relationship. This causes joint challenges etc.)

·        to live. (Life without love does not work)

·         Peace.

·         keeps you grounded. Security.

It is very hard to definite love. It is an abstract word and so everyone got his own interpretation. For me, love is the strongest feeling a human can feel. It is a great gift when somebody loves you. Love can make you happy and when you are in love, you think everything is good and perfect. But love can also hurt when your partner broke off or the one you loves does not love you back.

It is the warm feeling which spreads through your body by recognizing a new detail of one’s personality/ look / face / character.

     -  a word

-  a feeling

 to belong to someone and/or the feeling of belonging

-  the need to be with that one person

-   to rely on someone

-   to care about that person

Love to me is a mystery.

Love is a growing process and I’m sad I didn’t arrive to really give into this process.

Love is, when I miss my friends, who gave  so much warmth to me but are now travelling around the world.

Love to me is, when I worry about my friends and family.

Love to me is something unconditional.

Love is, when I listen to my grannie, telling me the same story again and again.

Love is, when my sister and  I are lying on our beds, laughing about a secret joke.

Love is, when I come home and my mom’s waiting for me in the kitchen, waiting to tell me all her news and ready to hear mine.

Love is the strongest, intense and intimate feeling and emotion that you can have, for either someone you’re strongly attached to or for anything you feel really connected to. Love is the hope for happiness. Furthermore it is ineffable. To know what love really is, you have to experience it by yourself, because love is an individual experience and feeling.

Love is the best and worst feeling in the world to me. Something you cannot describe but everybody knows it. It makes you vulnerable and strengthens you. It hurts and inspires you. Love is very ambivalent. Love is something I want to share with everybody because it is the best experience a person can make. We can learn a lot from the feeling of love.

Love is the second deepest feeling there is. It’s the truth. Loving someone is knowing he’ll back you up, give you his shoulder; unconditional help, both ways. Love is the feeling of being indestructible.

Love can be different things to me - a feeling,  a gesture, . . .

Love is when someone truly cares about somebody else, when you can feel the affection of someone. It is the most powerful force that everyone craves for in some way - it is something that guides us through our life and is responsible for the things we do and for those we are not doing.

Love is happiness without knowing where it         comes from.

Love is emptiness and fullness at the same time.

Love is  trust.

“Home is where your heart is”, concluding to that sentence love is “feeling at home”.

Love is a feeling of being attracted to someone who stands out of the crowd for you. Love is always something, that is is based on your personal opinion and feelings. I won't try to explain where love comes from, because I have no idea, but what I can try to explain is, what is caused by love.

I think everyone should experience love from the first day, given by the persons around you. Actually my mother showed and told  me always that she loves me and this love protected me during childhood up to now to handle every trouble. Of course life is never easy, but only with love we are able not to despair of some situations in life. Many people think there is nothing like love in our world, but I believe that they only have been disappointed a several times by persons they were in love to. I know, these people can find love all around them, if they let it happen, in every friendly reaction and never forget, there are 7 billion people out there, who are searching for love and want to share love. Why do I believe they are searching for love? The most powerful evidence they should accept is, that they love others and if they are full of hate they have loved before. Unfortunately love is the most mysterious emotion, which we are able to and we can't influence who we fall in love to, as well others can't influence as well. We are able to love for lots of years or just for some seconds, minutes, hours...but these moments are magical and unique. There are many different cases of love and first I wanted to take a closer look on the different steps we go through, but then I realized again: We can't influence love, because love can include every other emotion and can push us to do things we never did before, that means maybe we go through several steps but maybe we won't. Sometimes love is controversial, sometimes nothing is easier, there are just endless possibilities to try to express what love feels like, but actually it's nothing then a big surprise we can't explain.

The unconditional happiness gained from the time spent with the loved person.

Love is a strong feeling that can make you very happy but also very sad. Love is friendship, partnership, closeness, loyalty. Love is when you know that you can trust the other person, when you feel safe and secure being with this person. Love makes you feel very happy seeing the other person. Love can also make you sad, if you could not be together with the person you love. If you love someone you also love his faults.

Kate Hollett

Head of Class


Resident of Love

Interns of Love